Wednesday, December 13, 2006

on the same page

my personal rudolph
So yesterday afternoon I was fighting off a headache. I went to bed and woke up a few times. At 3 a.m. I finally took a frovatriptan. I couldn't fall asleep for about an hour when the frova kicked in. Praise Jesus for frova.

Today has been a great day, no pain at all and no side effects to speak of from the frova. Went for my walk, wrapped some presents, tidied up a bit and got a few other things done. Also made a good dinner and the handyman/friend/fellow churchgoer whose doing some work @ our house stayed for dinner. That's when I know I'm having a good day, when I can entertain. Also, Meyer D's youth leader's daughters came over to play with my boys while she was at youth group. Great day!

Yesterday afternoon I talked about how my friend called and I talked to him about getting some marijuana to try with my migraines. I didn't realize that when I was done blogging about it I just minimized it on the computer screen. My husband NEVER reads my blog/s. Well last night he did and never said a word about it to me. He's heard me make comments about wanting to see if pot works for my pain and has even chimed in with me but we have never talked about it. I've been nervous about doing so because I don't want to hear the word no. And I have a policy about not doing things that my husband has said no to, because we're a team and I don't want him doing that to me. Also, as I have said before, this is a big issue for me especially being a Christian and being active in my church. It's just not a very common way to handle a chronic pain medical problem.

Anyway, this morning I mentioned something to him about it, that I had talked to our friend about it. And he said, "I know." I said, "How did you know? Did our friend tell you?"

"No, I read your blog. It's on the www you know...."

He said he supports me but agreed with the friend that I need to do so with the permission and knowledge of my doctor. I know he's right, it's just not what I want to hear. It is so like me though to want to take control of my medical care and not trust that my doctors will meet my needs. I don't want to talk to them about something important and have them say what I don't want to hear: no or I can't help you.

So, I have a call into one of the social workers in my chronic pain group and will ask her how doctors usually approach this subject and under what circumstances they consider it. I am anticipating a strong negative response from my neurologist so I want to have a little more information before I bring it up. As I have said before, I have no intention of relying on it (if it helps) for the sole treatment of my problem. I just want it to relieve pain in times when I have exhausted my other resources. Unless he thinks it would be useful for something on a more regular basis for prevention.

I really don't know how it works. I am not a weed toker.

I will update more when the social worker lady calls me back. They are really pro patient so I need to accept whatever it is she has to say, and I picked the most liberal one to call....

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